…in the nothing

its pulling at me, tugging and taking…my retched little spine being pressed down upon by the entanglement of taught muscles ….holding and holding and holding as if gravity has it out for me in a sort of dark large cozmilky way.  breathing is that of utmost impotance in that i must make myself firm and stiff to take part.  im afraid of forgetting.  my grip tightens, leaving the fingers of my soul in stained glass; ruby glistened fingerprints tinge the fractals of light until my white face now indicting a stale rosey glow-
-of the humless tune that exists in the nothing.

Lostn Thoughts

Sitting in this dismel post-Cold War American ex-bunker turned brothel in Lostn Texas, thinking….that the entirety of my life has been spent either in the direct need of love or the very loathing of it.

“Suesy, a little lighter dear, how do expect me to work like this ….that sloshing of saliva and skin….”

“….ah, thats better love.”

“Tina, child….can you get your favorite patron another scotch…”

See, when your a kid, a single day could fly by before your eyes as the sun rises and falls on the sheltered streets of a sub urbane american dream, thats why at 44, I sit in this shithole laughing for hours at the fact that the past 30 years has flown by like a 747 running from 2 cruise missiles. Ah yes, why I am writing this. Well, I’m not getting any younger…

…..Yes sir, even my ramblings will end up the way of the dodo eventually. Actually more like the way of the homo sapien. All my drawn out utterances will eventually fall head over heels tripping over its own self emposed hurtles left soley with its own self-destruction stinging the air with a tangable current; speaking volumes about its fruadulant, primitive past. Yet nothing changes, the essence of life is identical for everyone and everything. I suppose you could also label this ideological never changing essence, God, but that’s for those needing the sugar coating.

…To be Continued.

C’mon…really its O.K.

c’mon….its ok, go ahead–
chum around like the loverless glutton you tend to be
the trees are swimming with apples, the roots flexing their auspitious muscles
and you are still.

bland apprehentions walk through your mind
running in time with the waltz that the oboe player insisted on playing
the orchestra pissed, rather had played the ragtime standard
deceptions in return for another dear diary response…
let me lay on you…
you can sit in me…
delightful jubilee destined for jeers

coffee tends to be blacker when no cream or sugar is added

suppose-ability = hurt expectations


“Damn it! Leave your lonely expectations to their weary war-eyed selves.
We don’t need those begotten damned, lingering in the stagnant disposition of peace.
Let us triumph with a battle cry to the heavens brigade to come as our techno-savvy,
articulated mass saviors.
Redeem the children for the souls that [need] a happy ending, and let the rest fall to reeses pieces….Mmmm.”
“Compelling, if that’s what your into?”
“I’m in it, if that seems compelling?”
“Standards – falling to another wayside as the effervescence of life bubbles up, up, up and away …blessing us with the unacumulated details.”
“Sensory perception!”
“What do you know of it?”
“Nothing, if that’s something?”
“Knowing nothing about something [is] something, so is there ever nothing?”
“Nothing is that of love, of peace, of sound mind, of free will, of creativity, of power.”
“Put to the test, can I ensure that nothing will come of the future?”
“Right as rain.”
-Conversations of unraveling hearts

Tres Quotes

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” -Schopenhauer

“The weight of the burden is known only by he who caries it” -Unknown

“Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.”-Giacometti 


Jess celibrates 27yrs!

We celibrated our friend Jess’s Birthday on Saturday in the D. There was good conversation, a few drinks, some dancing, some topless dancing, bible stealing, and even an earlicking for good measure. All in all …a splendid evening indeed. PICS